He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
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I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I need water and some morals
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