No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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