garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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