Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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