Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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