You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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