The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
