:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
