Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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