you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
