yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
