umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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