i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
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we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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