Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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