My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
