i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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