I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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