WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
