just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
