Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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