OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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