I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize