So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He better not be in your backpack
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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