Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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