Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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