We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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