Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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