I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
