and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
