And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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