ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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