thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
