In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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