Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Small penises have feelings too.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
