Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
