I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
