Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
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The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
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Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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