he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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