he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
