Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
As shirtless as possible
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
