craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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