it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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