Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
