Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize