It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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