just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
