What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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