apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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