I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We have started to decorate penises.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i think i just lost a toe
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
