Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
