No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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