Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
