I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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