Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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