Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
